You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
