Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
