Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize