I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
