im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
