Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I didn't notice because vodka
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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