Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
