Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
