Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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