We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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