i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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