Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize