you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
