i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
