Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
