You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
