We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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