i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
