Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
