I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
