saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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