That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is wine microwaveable?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
