Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
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There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
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If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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