Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
