I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
