would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i out mim tonsoeep
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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