Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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