just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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