I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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