I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize