Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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