Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
