I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
