Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
