I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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