I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
