I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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