He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
