I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
