Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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