We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
