I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Randomize
