he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
