Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
