Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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