he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
