How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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