I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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