all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize