omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
