Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
