I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
