do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
