Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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