she was so not down for the gang bang
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
