dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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