So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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