Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
