How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
