I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
