But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
