you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
