We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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