I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
