I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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