That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
